Family courts, access and the law - Entrepreneur Generations

Every weekend is one of waiting to see if I'm allowed time with my daughter with a text message from her mum saying yes or no.  It's been almost 3 years with family courts and almost 3 years of the same situation that I'm used to now.  My life change, results and lifestyle are a big thanks to the adversity and struggle that I am now deeply grateful for.  I wasn't put on the birth certificate and told I couldn't be a father because of the mental illness and that I wasn't good enough and back then I had nothing at all so from then it's been with courts. Got the text messages of its all or nothing, if I don't get back with my kids mum then I will never see my daughter so it's been a journey forward. 

Over time and many lawyers letters, contact centres and with access stopped and started over and over again, the court process changed because I tried to get back with my kids mum after she seen me doing so well and said she liked me again.  The courts could never make a final decision back then and I put all my faith in my daughters mum to continue the access without the courts even if our last try at getting back together failed, and by me having that faith left me with nothing as we just don't get on as I'm a different person from the one she knew back in 2012. That trust I put in family got access taken away fully with no legal binding access, or anything written down, and it's probably the biggest mistake any man could make in a country with a system in place to stop this happening, my mistake has taught me another great lesson. 

My lawyer couldn't understand why I would do this and put trust outside of court, nobody could understand why I stood up in court saying I trust my kids mum and want court to be over. But after so long in court, then once you have access you feel love and think emotionally instead of logically.  I've not seen our daughter in 3 weeks and got the text saying she's not wanting to give me access again, it's the applications to court again and the long process of family courts and adversity but this time I'm used to it & understand it.  I always affirm to myself that my daughter will grow up to find her own spiritual family later in life away from her birth family.  In career, relationship a sport or religion and my job is being the best birth father possible to lead her on that path in the future.  I believe in 2 families, our birth family and later one that makes us fulfilled and whole I call the spiritual family (marriage, religion, career, sport etc) . 

Adversity, pain and struggle led me to mediation and to my spiritual home of loving and believing in myself always no matter what happens on the outside.  This is something I wasn't taught, given or told, I learned to believe in me always and that never ends. I make sure I have a house, bank account and always available for my daughter with the door to my house and heart always open and ready for when the courts agree or her mum agrees that Ava-Jane needs her dad in her life. I never blame the government, the system or anyone else for anything, I always see life on what way can I learn, understand and make things better from me being here. 

I've had so many amazing times with my daughter, she loves her daddy, we have lots of fun when she's allowed to stay over. Run around, go swimming, out for food and just enjoy life and those times are always with me. Those times of love, compassion and understanding to life always stay with me. It's a long process and although I pay CSA the law doesn't make decisions based on that. It's back at the start with law papers, lawyers, courts and asking for the right to see Ava-Jane again.  Her mum just doesn't want me in Ava-Janes life because we are not together and I have to accept that. But suffering on my own is far better than staying with someone in a relationship were we all suffer and I'm full responsible for everything that comes with that. If I stayed in relationship we would all have each other but we would not be happy. 

6 weeks of getting drunk together is what brought around us being parents in the first place.  A long time ago now when I was 21 stone in weight, suffering mentally and using alcohol and drugs as a way to escape and having a partner who drank with me had sex is what made us parents. Over time I've changed a lot to become a vegan ultra running athlete, 9 stone lighter, free from all old ways of thinking and living, deep in meditation and solid in a spiritual foundation of self love so I accept that this journey has helped me grow as a father but as a person too. I'm grateful for the struggle and all life experiences throughout as it's all led me to the ultimate lesson, that "when there is no enemy within then the enemy outside can do no harm". Our freedom, our health and our happiness is on our own shoulders. 

I have deep peace, fulfilment and joy even in these time. My daughter is growing, at nursery and has a life of progress to make, this suffering is only felt by me as she doesn't know any different. Her mums moved on in her live life so deeply I would walk down the isle later in life with my daughter on her wedding day with someone who is not her birth dad just because my daughters happiness and peace come first. There's deep reasons to why I live like I live and I'm blessed to have had all the past life experiences that led to this awakening. 

The writing from the book by Kahlil Gibran saying "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain" could not be any more true to me and I made a promise to be the best dad I could, to not make the fight with family, courts or systems but to live my life in a way in which my heart, meditation and logical mind believe rather than be swept away in temporary emotion. 

I'm not allowed to see my daughter again this week, my kids mum has received lawyer letters now and is refusing access altogether so emotions can be playing part. But it's Britain today and all things need to be put on paper, I'm time the courts may grant birth certificate, access and a settlement to a family who are not married, who have never been together and a family based on 2 people having a kid who both can't live with each other. I'm grateful we have a law system in place for these things, a third source to solve these situations and I'm forever blessed for everything to lead us until now and that my daughter has a fit healthy father, I'm forget grateful for the opportunity to be me always no matter what happens on the outside. 

#LoveTheJourney 

from William Robertson http://ift.tt/1HicHJY Family courts, access and the law - Entrepreneur Generations

Posted by Entrepreneur Generations

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