Beethoven's Blackberry

I’m going to let you in on a little secret, and if you drop what you’re doing and start now, you, too, can profit from the greatest literary gold rush since Harry Potter.

Not long along, San Francisco-based comedy group Kasper Hauser created Obama’s Blackberry, published by Little Brown. In it, we get a hilarious look at what’s really going on behind the scenes in the Obama White House. For example:

HBomb: r u still mad about the primary?

Barack0: no, why?

HBomb: why am I flying coach to Zimbabwe?

Barack0: have fun eating pretzels and watching “Marley and me” :)

Pretty funny. Pretty quick to write. Pretty darn profitable, I’m betting.

In fact, my prediction is that this book will spawn an avalanche of imitators that will bury us. (I can already hear the printing presses in Wisconsin warming up.) A “blackberry book” will assault you at every turn this Christmas season, and grace the tank of your commode for years to come. (Followed, of course, by Steve Job’s Twitters. Guaranteed.)

So, I took a blank piece of paper and six minutes and wrote the following three scripts. They’re yours. Think of it as priming the pump. A starter kit. Go crazy.

By the way, I don’t use a blackberry so I don’t know any of the secret language. I figure the 22-year-old editor at Doubleday will fix that.

Beethoven’s Blackberry:

Vienna07: enough with the noise up there!

Beeth9: what noise?

Vienna07: oi. dah-dah-dah-daaaah. dah-dah-dah-daaaaah. Over and over.

Beeth9: You can hear that?

Vienna07: What are you, DEAF?

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Bill Gate’s Blackberry:

Bill$: i need to spend some money.

M$e$linda: again? what this time?

Bill$: AIDS in africa. maybe polio too.

M$e$linda: how much?

Bill$: $125 million. . .

M$e$linda: i thought we agreed that anything under $150 million was ok without asking?

Bill$: we did? i thought it was $100 million. i think $100 million is better.

M$e$linda: hmmm. ok. go ahead and fix AIDS.

Bill$: thanks, buttercup!

M$e$linda: btw, i’ll be late for dinner. i need to return something at the store.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Aristotle’s Blackberry:

Athensgal: want to join me at the Parthenon this afternoon?

Arstot?: do I?

Athensgal: do you what?

Arstot?: want to join you?

Athensgal: i’m asking.

Arstot: why?

Athensgal: hey--are you back doing that stupid "method-thing" again?

Artstot: What do you think?

Athensgal: i think sometimes you make me want to drink hemlock.

Now, imagine if a really funny person were doing this? Imagine if four or five really funny people sat in a living room with beer and wine and did this all weekend? Imagine if a book agent had promised them new year’s riches if they got three drafts done by, say, September 15?

So, consider yourself prepared. Skip work for a day and write. Maybe now you’re even rich.

Here’s the only thing left to prepare for, and I promise you it’ll happen: Jesus’ Blackberry. Promise. It's coming and you can't stop it. You heard it here first.

Posted by Entrepreneur Generations

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